I've never thought that I'm a very patient or a very
good-tempered person in general. People
usually think that I'm a gentle girl until they've realized that how I could go
rages and could be so fiery in responses to certain intolerable situations and
circumstances.
Recently, I've noticing myself that I could so easily caught
into my temper. Certainly there are a
lot going on in my head. I have to just
start working on two urgent and important projects at work and one has a super
tight deadline. Having to work on new
projects around the holiday season ain't fun by the way. There are a thousand of other things running
through my brain: all the matters of the girls, house chores, holiday shopping,
and so on and on. I guess only a working
mom with the kids could hear me well.
Alright, back to talking about my rages and temper. Just today, I was ended up yelling out loud
to my girls for quite a couple of times.
I was so mad that I could not properly control myself even though I was
aware that I'm doing it in the public.
When I did yell at them, there might have been very few or almost no
public in the surrounding.
Regardless, I weren't able to control myself to just talk to
them firmly instead of yelling. My blood
was boiling and my words were transformed into the high pitched yelling. How many times I've taught them that yelling
is not good and why I was yelling in contrary?
When I think about it now, I feel so guilty for being inconsistent for
what I've said and what I've behaved.
Well, they both are so active, playful and mischievous. So what?
It proves that they are normal and healthy. No matter how they made me upset or mad or
rubbing off my tolerance, I should not end up in such an uncontrolled situation. He has been showing me read cards by his
frowning face whenever I yelled. But I
kept neglecting his face. I just simply
could not calm down. That's all.
When I recall it and analyze it now, I could not believe
that I did that. Even though I didn't
play Angry Birds much, I guess that I'm really in need of Anger Management
:P
Yelling is a killer of the peace mode. It's the same meaning but the outcome of a
subject could well be totally different when you yell vs. when you talk or
explain firmly. Who doesn't like to hear
sweet? At the same time, there's no good
for me either. It boils my blood, make
me frown and hide my smiles and laughs for some extensive moments. Perhaps I have grown some wrinkles on my
forehead after all those yellings today :P
The worst is that I'm putting our "Happy Family"
on the line every time I do it. Once or
twice could be well forgiven but doing it over and over again may well break
the line or rub off all tolerances. The
"Happy Family" is the only most precious thing I got and I could not
afford to lose it.
Well, I got to appreciate what I have today and do not get
regreted it tomorrow for not treating it well.
Once some of the precious moments are gone they are gone. We could never get it back. Kids grow fast and it'll be times for them to
leave from us in no time before I'm even realizing it myself. When I miss them and I want those moments
back, I'll be the one with full of regret for not creating most sweet memories
out of it. Take it
easy and live the best and the sweetest out of it. Treasure the loved ones and live a guilt-free,
regret-free life! Life is short. Live, love and laugh.
