Yesterday I was watching a Chinese music contest program. One of the contestants described his story
before his performance which was that him mom sent him to US to go to the music
college there to fulfill his career dream by borrowing money from others for his tuition. The love and the faith his mom
has on him absolutely hit my heart.
My parents did almost the same thing to send me to Singapore, didn't
they? Even though they didn't have to borrow money, to support the
expenses of living abroad was a big financial responsibility. Suddenly tears
gathers around my eyes and I badly miss Papa & Mama. When Mother's Day is right around the corner,
I especially would like to highlight my mom for her countless sacrifices,
endless gratitude and unconditional love to me.
Since elementary school years, I learnt from school textbook
about mom's love and sacrifices towards her children and even Buddha who is the
noblest one of all could only repay just about the half of all those gratitude. Ordinary people like us couldn't make
anywhere near to it.
From both theory and experiences, I absolutely am aware of
my mom's love and sacrifices. I thought
I knew it all but I had realized that I was wrong until I became a mom
myself. In fact, I previously didn't
completely get what it takes to be a mom and what my mom had been through all
her life to bring me up.
When I actually
had to take the same role, it became more clear and transparent the whole
thing.
When I clean up the girls' for their diapers, their puke or
all messes they made, I silently regretted how I hesitated to touch some of the
dirty stuff which came out of her mouth. She cleaned me up just like what I did for my
girls but and she didn't deserve any hesitation from me for her turn.
Every time I gave or reserved the best part of the food to
the girls, it made me realize that it was no doubt that Mama as well had done
the same for me and my brother.
Whenever the girls drove me nuts every now and then, it made
me realize that how much my mom had put up or tolerate me all along.
When I read about a story of a mom who died for her kid in
order to protect her by covering her with her whole body during the last
Japanese Tsunami, it made me broke my tears immediately. It best depicts what a mom is and I badly
miss my Mama immediately.
The more I experience motherhood, the more I realize what it
takes to be a mom and what Mama had been through all her life for me and my
brother. And it makes me regret for
anything that I have done or said to Mama which hurt her feelings.
There's a saying in my culture: "Take good care of
one's parents while they are still alive and do not regret or cry when they are
gone for missing the chance". I
live by that motto and I thought I will have no regret or guilt but I still do
have regrets and guilt. The biggest one
will be that I couldn't take care of her by her side during her last days and
I'll live in pain with that misery or guilt for the rest of my life as a
punishment. Shame on me! :( No wonder parents' love are best
described as downstream and it's usually one direction.
Along with that, another biggest regret is that I just
wished that she could live longer so that I could get a chance to take good
care of her longer for her turn, just like what she did for me. How I wish that she's still here today with
me!
If you still have your mom, don't be shy to let her know
that how much you care and love her.
Even only a little amount of gestures will touch her and she'll be ecstatic
and elated. I know this from my own
experiences for being a mom myself.
Remember her on your birthday as it's the day she had been through the
biggest pain of her life to bring you into this world.
Whenever you can, try to make it a Mother's day for her for
everyday you're with her. Appreciate and
grab that opportunity while you still can because I couldn't.
Even though I know that you won't hear me, I still would like to tell you,
Mama. Thank you so much for everything! I really mean it. Happy Mother's Day to Mama and all moms and
even moms-to-be! Cheers!
