Life without internet...

I dropped my digital camera during one of the past weekends and it stopped working.  The fact that it's still pretty new and also not being ready to spend $$$ for a new one, it was really disappointing and annoying.  So with desperation for a free fix, Google was the very first thing which popped up on my mind.  And guess what?  I fixed it from the free blog post of one guy who shows all possible fixes via video.  Bingo! 

We now live in the technology era and Internet virtually is an essential part of our life.  To me, Internet is my knowledge or information ocean.  There're always answers or solutions for pretty much almost all of my questions. 

Once I was with him at his workplace for lunch.  He was approached by his boss and was asked for a technical problem.  He immediately suggested him to look the resolution up via Google.  His boss immediately responded him back that he was asking him just because the internet was down and couldn't get onto Google.  And they both laughed. 

When I'm in an deserted or remote area with very poor or no reception of my phone, I feel so screwed.  I feel so concerned for what I gonna do in case I'm in need of some help or encounter some issues, etc.  When I'm moving into a new place and couldn't get an appointment for the internet setup through the provider company on the very first move-in day, it makes me really frustrated in the sense that I don't know what to do without internet. 

I sometimes wonder how I passed the first few decades of my life without internet.  It sometimes further makes me wonder how people live without internet and electronic communication medium during ancient time.  I can feel the big PAIN back then!

However, flipping the coin will give one a different perspective. Technology can be really exhausting though if it's being overused.  I recently quit facebooking as I become overwhelmed for the time I've been wasting on there and the distraction I got from it.  It could lead to information overloading if one go over limit.  If I sit before my computer during my spare time, I could keep on surfing there until my body signals and commands me to stop as it couldn't take any longer.  You see the point?

 

This is the point I'm talking about, LOL :P

Just like anything else, "Balance" is the key.  We just have to make sure not to overdo it.  Not sure I get the best out of internet or Internet gets the best out of me :P  Regardless I can't live without internet unless I decide to turn my gadgets and devices off during my vacation to prevent myself from information overloading.  Google is like my virtual H2O.  Life without internet, I simply don't know how.  Another version of it is that "Life without internet, it just sucks!!!".  What's the version of yours? :P

Oxymoron

I grew up with so well protected by my family, especially my mom, my grandma and my aunts.  There wasn't a single thing I needed to be concerned of since everything was well arranged and prepared for me.  Everywhere I went I was escorted by one of the family members.  I thought that I was well favored by most of my elementary school teachers just because my grand parents were doing so well financially and they were well known and respected by my teachers, not because I placed the first rank almost every year.

Basically, the path that I would be going was well paved ahead of me by my family.  The fact that I was never been on school excursions (because my parents had lots of concerns about  me when I was alone and out of their eyesight) and what I wore daily was decided, prepared and got ready by my mom every day until during my freshman year really made me to wish a bird who is flying freely and experience things on its own, rather than a bird in the cage.

Suddenly, things started to go the other way round.  It was when my two main guardians and escorts who were my two maternal aunts, my mom's two younger sisters, left me alone under circumstances.  My big aunt got married and my youngest aunt who dearly loved me lost her battle with lung cancer.  My mom was busy helping my dad with the business and left me alone with the decision making token for the path that I would be going.  Just like that, I made lots of decisions for my education which later would lead me to my current career.  At times, I felt helpless since I wasn't sure I was making the right decision or going to the right direction.  At times, sleepless nights during exams and stresses and exhausts at work made me feel weak.  And it made me mourn my long lost well protection and care by my family at the same time.  

Isn't it very common that we, human beings, always tend to like the opposites and contradictions?  When one had a well-paved road, she wanted to try to make her own road.  And when it came the time to  make her own road and was making one, she missed the well-paved road she once used to get.  Isn't it funny?

Likewise, we like to be a grownup when we were a kid but when one started to grow old, he or she wants to be a carefree kid again.  A lot of things we currently have, we take it granted.  Then, when we suddenly loose it, its value suddenly surfaces and we regret. 

In contrast, the more we know we can't get something we want, the higher value it is, agree?  When it's easily available to one, we take it granted.  It always appeared to me that the movie which I had watched Nth times and I didn't bother to watch it anymore really attracted me on my exam nights. :P  And there always got super long list of things to do right before my exam so that I would be more well prepared next time for next year's exam.  But guess what?  That long list vanished with the wind and evaporated as the gas once the exam was over.  :P  And the same mindset of being more prepared and more disciplined would visit me again during next year's exam.  LOL :P

Super famous celebrities wanted privacy whilst we as most of the commoners like publicity by publishing everything or posting pictures at everywhere we go on the facebook? :D 

People in the villages wonder what it takes to experience the city life while people in the city pays to experience the urban or rural lives during their vacations.

Single people want to get married whilst it pops married people's mind with the freedom of being single every once in a while.  Couples who aren't able to get kids try all possible way to conceive.  But parents with kids long to have a break every once in a while. 

People who are out of job want so badly to be back onto the career no matter what it takes whilst those with jobs usually complain how tiring and stressful their job life is.  Black people want to have a fair skin whilst white people sun tanned to get a darker skin. 

Oh well, this world is full of opposites, contrasts and idiosyncrasies.  I guess it's what makes the varieties and differences.  The word "miscellaneous" exist there for a reason.  Like colors, opposites and contrasts make us different and unique.  And guess that they are what make the world go round. The opposites attract each other and contradictions make spices of our lives, don't they?  Yeah, Oxymoron!!

Leaving Me the Angry Bird in the Legend

Okay, I'm sure that everyone of us knows that yelling is not a good thing.  Especially this plays even an important role and make a bigger point when one is trying to be a role model to her kids.  I had repeated Nth time to myself that no yelling, no screaming or no raising voice before them but it failed at times.  

Why?  I realize that it's the only exit I could find whenever I get caught myself into the ultimate exhaust, tiredness or upset.  Even if I'm in the normal mood, those little playful mischief and patience rubbers along with their misbehavior are so capable of making me to end up with mommy's meltdown moments most of the times.

Whenever I got blindfolded by my anger, I'm no longer me and all my consciousness and senses are gone momentarily.  9 out of 10 times, I was out of control and I ended up ranting.  After busting out and releasing my madness and anger, I always come back to my senses and guess what?  I'm usually loaded with full of guilt and regret.

However, what I notice though is that my guilt and regret declines for each incident.  The more such incidents I committed, the less guilt and regret I felt.  For almost everything we involve ourselves, the very first time always appear to be the biggest deal.  But it usually tends to be no such a big deal for each subsequent incident, isn't it?  Likewise, I guess that I just don't try to make much effort to rectify my mistake after repeated guilt and regrets had numbed my senses.  And it's probably because I don't get haunted by my guilt and regrets anymore after having them multiple times.

I came across this article on Yahoo! which mentioned about the danger of yelling at your kids.  This really made me review myself and I feel so horrible how I become getting comfortable with it over time and not reinforcing myself to stay on track with my vow.  Especially when I learnt that how yelling and screaming at those little innocent ones could have created such a big impact on their life and more importantly, an unintentional wound or scar could have left on their mind.

Oh, NO!  I'm one such angry bird.  I suddenly feel like I'm a horrible mom and I feel so embarrassed for my behavior at the same time.  I realize that I'm seriously in need of reprimand to not repeat those again.  All I need is my anger management.  I know that it's not going to happen overnight as it takes time to rectify one's personality.  It's not easy to stick with it but I must not give up.  My determination is my first step.  I hereby make a vow to myself that NO YELLING, NO SCREAMING and NO RAISING VOICE to my little ones NO MATTER WHAT.  I'll live up to my mojo!  I can do it! I can do it!! :D