Okay, I'm sure that everyone of us knows that yelling is not a good thing. Especially this plays even an important role and make a bigger point when one is trying to be a role model to her kids. I had repeated Nth time to myself that no yelling, no screaming or no raising voice before them but it failed at times.
Why? I realize that it's the only exit I could find whenever I get caught myself into the ultimate exhaust, tiredness or upset. Even if I'm in the normal mood, those little playful mischief and patience rubbers along with their misbehavior are so capable of making me to end up with mommy's meltdown moments most of the times.
Whenever I got blindfolded by my anger, I'm no longer me and all my consciousness and senses are gone momentarily. 9 out of 10 times, I was out of control and I ended up ranting. After busting out and releasing my madness and anger, I always come back to my senses and guess what? I'm usually loaded with full of guilt and regret.
However, what I notice though is that my guilt and regret declines for each incident. The more such incidents I committed, the less guilt and regret I felt. For almost everything we involve ourselves, the very first time always appear to be the biggest deal. But it usually tends to be no such a big deal for each subsequent incident, isn't it? Likewise, I guess that I just don't try to make much effort to rectify my mistake after repeated guilt and regrets had numbed my senses. And it's probably because I don't get haunted by my guilt and regrets anymore after having them multiple times.
I came across this article on Yahoo! which mentioned about the danger of yelling at your kids. This really made me review myself and I feel so horrible how I become getting comfortable with it over time and not reinforcing myself to stay on track with my vow. Especially when I learnt that how yelling and screaming at those little innocent ones could have created such a big impact on their life and more importantly, an unintentional wound or scar could have left on their mind.
Oh, NO! I'm one such angry bird. I suddenly feel like I'm a horrible mom and I feel so embarrassed for my behavior at the same time. I realize that I'm seriously in need of reprimand to not repeat those again. All I need is my anger management. I know that it's not going to happen overnight as it takes time to rectify one's personality. It's not easy to stick with it but I must not give up. My determination is my first step. I hereby make a vow to myself that NO YELLING, NO SCREAMING and NO RAISING VOICE to my little ones NO MATTER WHAT. I'll live up to my mojo! I can do it! I can do it!! :D
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