Holly Jolly Christmas

Jolly Old Saint Nicholas,

Lean your ear this way;

Don't you tell a single soul

What I'm going to say,

Christmas Eve is coming soon;

Now you dear old man,

Whisper what you'll bring to me;

Tell me if you can.

...

Those are the lyrics from one of the Christmas carol pieces Sophie has been practising on her piano.

It was so funny last night that Sophie rushed inside the house in the quest of surprised presents from Santa as soon as we got back home from our vacation.  When she couldn't locate any, she felt extremely upset, and went inside the closet in their room, closing those sliding mirror closet doors and sat down in that dark corner with a sad face wearing a huge disappointment.

When I tried to comfort her with presents we got for them, it didn't do it of course as they weren't from Santa she pouted.

I didn't think that it would be such a big deal so I didn't wrap and prepare the gifts and secretly leave them at a corner of our house (since we didn't plan to decorate Christmas tree this year due to the limited space in our current place) before our vacation.  My bad!!

Being a non-Christian and coming from a country where Christmas is not widely celebrated (it held at least true until when I was there), it was so amazing to learn about the beliefs of Santa's existence by kids in this country at the beginning.  What Christmas to me back then was that it was merely something which was celebrated by my Christians neighbors.  Even when I was in Singapore, I visited Orchard Road and enjoyed staring at those beautiful vast Christmas decorations every year and it was nothing more than that for me.

I used to think that Santa doesn't have anything to do with me until when girls starting to learn about Santa at their preschools and make me leave a cup of milk with a cookie under the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.  And I learnt to secretly take a bite of cookie while girls were falling into asleep to convince them that Santa really came and left presents for them on that night in our house :D

Apparently, I'm getting there but there's always rooms for improvements, don't you think? :P

Once there got this famous news here that a teacher was in trouble for breaking the news to her students during the class that Santa was fake.  Not only parents of the students of the teacher, but also almost all parents nationwide got furious after hearing the news.  Even my boss back then had a very upset conversation with others in the office including me by blaming the teacher for being so clueless.

All those young kids who are small enough to buy the idea of Santa's existence, St. Nick or Mr. C is really there making a list of nice and naughty to make sure whom to be given presents and whom would be excluded from his list.  And on Christmas Even, Santa will be visiting kids all over the world on his flying raindeers and is sneaking into house to house via chimney to leave the presents to good and well-behaved kids.  And every kid is so concerned of not getting a gift from Santa.

It was so funny when Sophie was so concerned how Santa would come into our house back in Sacramento which doesn't come with chimney.  I had to convince her that modern houses don't have chimneys and Santa would use the garage for those which don't have one.

To me, it wasn't until recently which I learnt that St. Nicholas who is a Greek Christian bishop who likes to secretly leave money or presents the poor kids on Christmas Eve is somehow linked as a Santa.  Thanks to Wikipedia! :P

Well, I'm learning more and more as you see :D  And for Sophie & Michelle, we're now celebrating Christmas every year just like everyone else here.  Christmas is such a huge festival and celebration over here for family time, reunion and get-together, just like what Chinese Lunar New Year is for Chinese.

Girls told me that Christmas is one of their favorite holidays.  Perhaps what they really love is presents they got by then I guess, LOL :P

About last night's incident for Sophie's big disappointment (Michelle is easygoing and she was disappointed too but wasn't as bad as her big sister), I was lucky enough to cover it up for my bad.  Am I being such an ignorant mom who didn't take serious for the fact that any kid here is so much concerned of not getting a present from Santa because they don't like to be regarded as bad kids?

Well, I of course got my own excuses just like everyone else.  :P  Sophie even asked me before our trip whether Santa actually exists and Christmas gifts actually come from Santa or from us?  I didn't really say "Yes" or "No" and my answer was really vague.  But I thought she was smart enough to figure the truth out at that early age :P

Anyway, my lucky helper is that they sometimes didn't behave during the trip (Oh, yeah! When they become bored after sitting long hours in the car, I learnt from my experiences that naughty and misbehaved kids are unavoidable :P) so I had to threaten them that Santa might retract his presents to them due to their mischief.

I think Sophie buys it and the same goes to Michelle for breaking iPad during the trip.  Probably that's why she was easier than her big sister last night as she knows her guilt.

Oh, well, I guess that there's always one good thing out of all madness or bad, right?  I just hope that girls will behave better from now on so that they won't be excluded from Santa's list for presents next year :P  At the same time, the lesson learnt for me is that secret presents on Christmas Eve are so important and it's a "must-do" on my list from next year on (until they are old enough to take the truth about Santa) :D

Other than that, we really got a good white Christmas on San Jacinto Mountain until the evening and a family movie time at home after getting back home.  And Sophie ended the night beautifully by playing Christmas Carols on her piano for us (Yes! Her big disappointment didn't last that long.  Thanks God!  :P). And it's holiday too, yeah? :D

Merry Christmas everyone (or perhaps Happy Boxing Day?  :P) and I hope everyone had a nice Christmas too!

If you have a clean soul and no evil wills then you'll have a good life!

While I was getting my tea in the kitchen earlier, I heard the conversation between two of my coworkers about other coworkers pissing them off at times.  Suddenly, one of them pointed to me and said that "She's always so pleasant and it's a big assets."  It's hard to do you know he added.  Well, I'm really flattered for his compliment of course :D

And just earlier, My aunt and I happened to talk about people's "jealousy".  

So, these two points which come onto my mind today becomes this blog post of course.

I'm a big believer that "If you have a clean soul and no evil wills then you'll get a good fate".

However, we as human beings at times deviate from it and misbehaves from time to time.  It's even unavoidable for some religious monks so it's very obvious that it's harder for ordinary human beings like us to practise and stick with it.

A lot of times, "gossips" are very common among us as human beings.  And what's interesting even more is that those gossips are mainly rooted from one's so-called jealousy in my opinion.

It's so easy to cause jealousy to those who aren't doing as good as those who are doing so well or much better than them.  When one in such mode, happiness apparently is out of question.  

And the next thing you know is that they either might trip you and pull you down.  Any mistakes you made or any misfortune you gotwill be monitored by them and you will be their victim under exaggerated bad-fouled gossips before you even know it.  

Basically, those jealous people will celebrate and cheerful for your failures and mistakes.  But you'll be confronted for any of your success and anything better you got than them.  Those are unpleasant things 

 to me really!  I have two "S" words for such unpleasantness: "Sad" first of all and "sick" second of all.  It's just not so unhealthy.

I of course have been victims of those evil wills every now and then. I got so many stories but I guess there's no point to waste everyone time including mine upon them :)

And I have came across a lot of people who only want to regard you as a family, relative or friend when you're doing so well.  If not, you will feel like you don't even exist in their eyes.  It's really disgusting to me!

As I grow older, I don't want to hold any grudges toward anyone who did wrong to me.  I used to feel the growing of heat of those grudges inside me.  It was really hot and burning me every once in a while.  I was merely one of their jealous victims and why would I burn myself for somebody else's faults or wrongdoings?  

When "forget" or "forgive" couldn't be a solution, "neglect" or "ignore" are the resolutions I adopted.  I feel much happier that way.  I just believe those people one day will go to the places where they deserve.  They don't need any of the punishment or revenge from me.

With all those said, I'm not saying that I myself is a perfectionist.  At least, I don't commit those jealousy crimes either physically or verbally :)  I'm still one of the human beings.  Every human has sins and every once in a while none of us is free from such sinful acts. 

However, I usually thrive myself to live up to this motto of my life: "If I have a clean soul and no evil wills then I'll have a good fate". Whenever I feel like I'm falling into the crack, remembering my life motto will keep me back on track.  I think it's really important because it's one of the important factors which make us pleasant and desirable!!!

In the pursuit of alone time

As a kid I used to be really envious of those successful grown ups with super busy schedule for some reasons :)  I still remember that I used to pretend play like I'm a director or an executive who was so busy that she didn't even have time for her lunch or dinner at times. 

Little did I know that Buddha would grant my wish one day, not being a director or an executive but a super busy working mom :P 

As I've already mentioned in several other blogs, struggling between a full-time job and trying to fulfill the housewife and mom role usually leaves me as a very exhausting one who got very little or almost no energy at the end of the day.  I couldn't even remember that there got how many nights that I fall into asleep before girls had fallen asleep while I was putting them asleep. :D

I find out that I'm not alone when other moms shared the exact same thing with me during Thanksgiving party at Michelle's preschool.  Regardless of stay-home moms or working ones, we as moms got the exact same topmost wish list.  Guess what?  It is to have own little personal time at the end of each day of course.

Well, didn't I just mention earlier that I barely got enough energy just to go and sleep by the time those little ones go to bed?  You heard me right.  Then, stretching out the last chunk of energy to its max possibility for the pleasure of one's personal free time aka so-called independence time of mine is the one and only solution as one could imagine of course :P

It was all good until my heavy eyes and tiring body are softly killing me at work the next day.  Then, I would swear to myself that I wouldn't stay up late for the night again but "it depends" is the only promise as good as I could make to myself I guess. 

Why?  Whenever the overwhelming desire for having my own little personal time re-appears, the vow I had made earlier could nowhere be found.  Just like that the same pattern repeats and life goes on... :P

Enjoying tiny little spare time out of exhaust or having fun with tiredness for the lost independence I'm trying to claim or just feeding my minds to quench the thirst of independence or whatever you name it.  It really satisfies one for that time being no matter what payoff I gotta make.  I'm sure that there got so many of us as busy parents in the same boat hear me well. 

Hmmm... I don't think we should be guilty for trying to pursue own spare time and pleasure every once in a while as I do believe that parents need time outs too.  I don't think I have heart to leave him alone with girls for mom getaway for a short break or timeout.  But I could become desperate for the pursuit of alone time at times.  "Desperate mom the alone time seeker" is the title for me?  You name it and I'll take it :P

Unbreakable Invisible Ties

 

Courtesy of Google and credit goes to the original graphic designer of this lovely picture

I was prompted with an opportunity at work to go to a conference at Las Vegas.  It's a really good opportunity for me to get exposure to the latest technologies and trends but the fact that I need to stay away from my family for a couple of days was really holding me back.  It was quite a bit of a "go-or-no-go" mentality battle for me.

I thought I would just skip it but he signaled the green light and thus I finally made the call for my attendance of the conference.  I broke the news to Sophie and she broke her tears.  Here are her words: "Mama, I really don't want you to go to Las Vegas.  I want you to be with me always.  If you go, I will go also.  I won't let you go all by yourself."  Oh, my!!!! It was such a touchy feely mommy and Sophie's moment.  After the thorough explanation to her that I would be going away just for a few days and I would be back, she felt better.

I was more hesitate to share this news with little Michelle as she attaches to me so much.  She expressed the same concern as Sophie and thought that I would be going away for a long time or would not come back.  She also mentioned that she didn't want me to go away even for a day.  Oh, my God!  I knew she would say that.  But at least she didn't shed her tears like Sophie and I was so glad that.  Seeing their tears really hurts me!  She used to cry a lot when she couldn't find me beside her in the bed in the morning when I often needed to head to work early.

SIGH!!!!!  $%&***@###$$$$%

Do you know what "Family" stand for?
F- Father
A- And
M- Mother
I- I
L- Love
Y- You

I got it from one of the forwarded emails from a friend long long ago.  The meaning of each letter just so makes sense.  How amazing it's that someone lay it out for such a meaningfulness!!

If love is some sort of string then it's one which is soft and gentle enough to touch and move one's heart.  Yet it's one of the strongest and unbreakable ones which can tie the hearts of all of us as family members forever.  Really, love and family they are inseperable and they indeed are unbrekable invisible ties!

Beauty of Sisterhood

As a kid, I always wonder what it'll be like having a loving and caring big sister!

Just the other day, we were joking to girls that if Sophie didn't listen to us, she would end up staying with grand parents back in China for some period of time.  To my big surprise, it wasn't Sophie who was scared and shocked. Instead, it was little Michelle who immediately started to cry and yell so anxiously that she wouldn't let her big sister go.  At the same time, she was begging us to let her big sister stay together with her as always.

I was so amazed and touched by a 4-year old's response and love for her big sister.  It was one of the cutest and sweetest things of sisterhood.  How lovely and sweet!  At the same time, I can't be happier for the love and attachment they have for each other.

When Michelle was first sent to the preschool at the age of 2, she cried so hard everyday for coping with new environment: new teachers, new school, new friends, etc.  I was told by girls' preschool teacher that Sophie usually came to Michelle's side (as she's in Pre-K side and Michelle's at Toddler side), stayed, kept company, comforted her little sister all the time.  All of her teachers praised her for being a very good caring big sister!

Even though the rocky and distant relationship I got with my big brother, I never want that it'll be the case for my girls.  We used to be very close and he used to a very loving and caring big bro until things started to flip him over.  Or may be it was him who started to flip things around him.  Either way, when things started not to work out for us, I started to mourn for a big sister who is willing to share every inside out with me and who literally is my best friend in this world.

I'm so glad that girls are naturally and instinctually embracing the blessings of sisterhood they're getting.  I can't be happier for their lovely gestures, mutual love and care towards each other.  This is sweeter than any sweet in the world!  Keep it up, girls!  Let this precious love glow all the way through!

"A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life."

"Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there."

"What's the good of news if you haven't a sister to share it?" ~ Jenny DeVries