(Oh My God! I just googled it and I can't believe I found it. Oh well, I'm glad that I'm at least not the only one :P)
It all started from the sudden loss of Mama. Those days were one of the darkest and loneliness days of my life. Unfortunately, he happened to be on a business trip to Pennsylvania to present his paper and to attend the conference. I could not sleep throughout the night for most of the days and I desperately needed someone to talk but there was none.
Of course, I had my girls with me by then but they were not able to talk or comfort me and they weren't able to listen to me either. He called me every night and we talked. But how long I could keep him, especially he was in different time zone and he was on business trip. So, how could I keep him for the whole night just because I could not sleep?
My mother-in-law was with me but it didn't help at all. I still remember that once she came out of her room and asked me about my mom since she saw me crying and looking at my mom's pictures at the hospital during her last days. She listened to me for a while though. But she told me that it was already around 10:00pm and she needed to sleep even before I had finished talking and dumped me just like that. What can I say?
I could not recall how exactly I got an idea of signing up the facebook but that was how I hooked it up to kill the time for my sleepless nights. Perhaps I got a lot of invitations from most of my friends at that time. I was never been into any of such sites before signing facebook up. I did have Friendster but I barely logged in there once or twice and I even forgot my password afterward.
Anyway, as soon as I was with facebook, my friend lists bombed momentarily since a lot of my classmates added me. I felt so amazed that I got connected with all of them now and saw their pictures, status messages, activities and what they are doing and where they are. In addition to my classmates at my undergraduate studies, I got connected with all other friends and people I know at outside computer centers where I attended classes or diploma such as ACE, KMD, etc. My friend lists just went on and went on.
Initially, I was kind of hesitate to upload my pictures and publish my information there. But I did it eventually. I'm not that kind of person who wants to share my photos and information with everyone. I just want to keep it private as it's my personal life. But I eventually did it and facebook has changed me that perspective of my life I guess. Probably getting a lot of comments from facebook friends encouraged me to upload more pictures :P
Just like that, facebook became my companion to go through one of the toughest days of my life. Believe it or not! No matter how hard I tried, I could not fall into asleep. Even the non-prescription sleeping pill from Uncle Mike didn't help at all. Everywhere was Mama and it was just haunting me. Thanks God, I was on my bereavement leave so I didn't have to worry about going to work the next day with dull eyes. Most of all, I could not focus and concentrate anything at that moment. I think it was another main reason where facebook suits me the best. I didn't have to think or focus anything. All I need was just browsing my the photos of my friends and activities aimlessly.
My friend lists kept growing and I got even re-connected with my high school friends whom I thought I would never be able to meet with them again. And just like that, I got addicted to facebook. I must check the facebook at least once a day. In fact, with the help of Wi-Fi and 3G data network via my iPhone or iPod, I was able to check it from almost everywhere I am. At one point, I even felt like my day was empty without browsing facebook or staying away from it one day. Every morning when I wake up, after checking all my emails then I started browsing facebook. On Friday nights when the girls went asleep and I could not sleep then I felt like I had nothing better to do and just browsed facebook. My addiction became obsession I think.
Even he reminded me a couple of times. He hardly ever restrict me for anything I do. Then when he warns me, I might have been really bad. He also does not like sharing a lot of my photos there. At that point, I thought about myself and realize that how much time I have been wasting on there. So I decided to quit there.
Well, we happen to watch "The social network" by then. After watching the movie, I felt like Mark Zuckerburg was so genius. Then I went to facebook and update my status. Once again, I was back there.
Recently, I have been busy and didn't get time to check my facebook. Then I ask myself that what I have lost? Nothing. What do I miss? Nothing in particular from there. It proves me wrong that facebook is one of the essential thing of my life. I think further and also realize that how much time I have wasted so much on facebook and I could have done something better or more useful to my life. Especially someone like me who only has very limited spare time; working on a full-time job, my two girls and husband and the house chores already make my hands full. Therefore, I should utilize my time so efficiently instead of spending it on facebook from which I gain nothing.
Well, I guess that I come to my sense finally. I'm getting myself back. And why should I even share what I'm doing by checking in the places via facebook or all the photos taken at almost every single place I've been there? It's my personal life and I should just keep it private; just to myself, my relatives and my close friends.
Having said that, I'm not trying to convince that facebook is not good. It's really good. I was so thrilled and am still thrilled that I got connected with all the people I know. It's just so amazing and it's just such a good application to use and I really like it. It's just that I thought that I could have done something better for my life during my spare time. Just like this: writing a blog. LOL. Well, it's my hobby and at least I spend my spare time to do whatever I always wanted to do. And I know that at least my husband will be reading it. I might come back later from time to time but bye for now, facebook. See you later!
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