Unbreakable Invisible Ties

 

Courtesy of Google and credit goes to the original graphic designer of this lovely picture

I was prompted with an opportunity at work to go to a conference at Las Vegas.  It's a really good opportunity for me to get exposure to the latest technologies and trends but the fact that I need to stay away from my family for a couple of days was really holding me back.  It was quite a bit of a "go-or-no-go" mentality battle for me.

I thought I would just skip it but he signaled the green light and thus I finally made the call for my attendance of the conference.  I broke the news to Sophie and she broke her tears.  Here are her words: "Mama, I really don't want you to go to Las Vegas.  I want you to be with me always.  If you go, I will go also.  I won't let you go all by yourself."  Oh, my!!!! It was such a touchy feely mommy and Sophie's moment.  After the thorough explanation to her that I would be going away just for a few days and I would be back, she felt better.

I was more hesitate to share this news with little Michelle as she attaches to me so much.  She expressed the same concern as Sophie and thought that I would be going away for a long time or would not come back.  She also mentioned that she didn't want me to go away even for a day.  Oh, my God!  I knew she would say that.  But at least she didn't shed her tears like Sophie and I was so glad that.  Seeing their tears really hurts me!  She used to cry a lot when she couldn't find me beside her in the bed in the morning when I often needed to head to work early.

SIGH!!!!!  $%&***@###$$$$%

Do you know what "Family" stand for?
F- Father
A- And
M- Mother
I- I
L- Love
Y- You

I got it from one of the forwarded emails from a friend long long ago.  The meaning of each letter just so makes sense.  How amazing it's that someone lay it out for such a meaningfulness!!

If love is some sort of string then it's one which is soft and gentle enough to touch and move one's heart.  Yet it's one of the strongest and unbreakable ones which can tie the hearts of all of us as family members forever.  Really, love and family they are inseperable and they indeed are unbrekable invisible ties!

Beauty of Sisterhood

As a kid, I always wonder what it'll be like having a loving and caring big sister!

Just the other day, we were joking to girls that if Sophie didn't listen to us, she would end up staying with grand parents back in China for some period of time.  To my big surprise, it wasn't Sophie who was scared and shocked. Instead, it was little Michelle who immediately started to cry and yell so anxiously that she wouldn't let her big sister go.  At the same time, she was begging us to let her big sister stay together with her as always.

I was so amazed and touched by a 4-year old's response and love for her big sister.  It was one of the cutest and sweetest things of sisterhood.  How lovely and sweet!  At the same time, I can't be happier for the love and attachment they have for each other.

When Michelle was first sent to the preschool at the age of 2, she cried so hard everyday for coping with new environment: new teachers, new school, new friends, etc.  I was told by girls' preschool teacher that Sophie usually came to Michelle's side (as she's in Pre-K side and Michelle's at Toddler side), stayed, kept company, comforted her little sister all the time.  All of her teachers praised her for being a very good caring big sister!

Even though the rocky and distant relationship I got with my big brother, I never want that it'll be the case for my girls.  We used to be very close and he used to a very loving and caring big bro until things started to flip him over.  Or may be it was him who started to flip things around him.  Either way, when things started not to work out for us, I started to mourn for a big sister who is willing to share every inside out with me and who literally is my best friend in this world.

I'm so glad that girls are naturally and instinctually embracing the blessings of sisterhood they're getting.  I can't be happier for their lovely gestures, mutual love and care towards each other.  This is sweeter than any sweet in the world!  Keep it up, girls!  Let this precious love glow all the way through!

"A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life."

"Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there."

"What's the good of news if you haven't a sister to share it?" ~ Jenny DeVries

Come, Come, Come and Sing!

Sophie got her very first singing recital from her After School about two weeks ago.  I've been  meaning to write a post for her but was getting so busy and haven't accomplished it yet as I wish. Well, I gotta admit that procrastination plays part of it too since I was lazy to copy over the pictures and video clips from the phone to the computer so that I could upload some to my post :)

As an excited mom for my girl's first recital, I prepared to charge all batteries of my camera, my video camera, my phone and whatever device I can use to take or record her performances.  Electronic recording gadgets overloading.... :P

Everything was in order and we were off to go the venue where she would be performing her recital only to find out that my camera got the missing battery which I apparently forgot to put it back after charging.  Ahhhhh...  What's a failure!

Other than blaming to myself, there weren't much I could do :(  And the light setting was so dim and the color appearing in our video camera looked liked sepia or so.  Another under preparation or failure at my end for the gadget we hardly use these days, just because we're lazy to bring it to everywhere even though its small size.  I'm sure that we could have figured something out for the better and more vibrant color recording by it with some advanced testing and preps.  Then, I was given no choice but only stuck with camera/video camera of our iPhones.

And guess what?  Everything tried to go against me on that day.  I rushed to take a seat at the second row so that I would be able to take a good recording of her performance only to find out that I picked the wrong side.  There was a center aisle and seating arrangement rows were on each side of the aisle.  I picked the right hand side of the center aisle's middle seating of the second row.  That's the opposite far end of where Sophie would be standing on the stage.

There were a group of about 10 girls doing the performance altogether and Sophie stood at the leftmost end.  So I was barely able to see her from the place I was sitting.  I asked her to come to rightmost end so that I would get a good picture of her but she just stuck to stay at her position there as it was the position arranged by her teacher she insisted.  What can I say?

There were two other parents sitting on my left hand side who seemed to be parents of one of those 10 girls in Sophie's chorus.  They were also recording their daughter's performance so I was not in a position to get out of my seating and moved to a different seating to get a better view of her.  I didn't want to be a very annoying mom who is super-excited so she would do anything to get a good view or recording of her kids by getting in other people's way or blocking view of someone else, etc.

So, there was nothing I could do other than blaming myself once again for not planning ahead by asking Sophie where she would be standing on the stage so that I could pick a seating with a better angle of view accordingly.  Lesson learnt is to do more planning and preparation next time.  Sigh!!!

Other than those few hiccups, I was really amazed by she and her group's singing.  They did three songs: two Chinese songs and one English song.  I had to say that they did a great job.  She did learn lots of stuff during her singing class.  Most of all, she loves singing and she had fun and enjoyed her class and recital.  That's what it matters most to us.

At the end of the third song, I was clapping my hands so hard to give her a big applaud.  It was just a recital and I could have been more proud if she is to do her individual performance.  Nonetheless, the chorus they did was pretty awesome and cute and it gave me nothing other than a proud mom's ecstasy.  I used to be so anxious for getting on the stage.  Having no stage fright alone makes me so proud of her already.  Well done, girl!  Jia you, Jia you!!

    Pictures and Videos to come..... :P

Work Coma

Almost everyone has heard of food coma, right?  That's what happened to me during holiday festivals such as Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Too much food and thus I got a food coma :P

This year, I stayed away from Black Friday so I was able to preserve my energy.  And we gave up the idea of visiting to Grand Canyon and around.  Sit back, relax and rested so well.  That was the sort of my ideal vacation anyway. 

But guess what?  I was getting the work coma for the whole day for getting back to work after a long break.  After getting such a comfy days at home, it was such a dragging to go back to work.  With heavy eyes, dragging feet, slow hands, semi-frozen brain from holiday, I can't think of anything other than "work coma" to describe myself at work today.  Thanks God!  The work was easy on me today and I couldn't really complain of course. 

Instead of waking myself up from work coma, I'm feeling so ready for another holiday.  Oh, NO!!  Gold please helps!!!!!  Work Coma for real!!  ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz   :P

My Black Fridays' Shopping Craze

Another Black Friday had just passed.  It's the Friday following the Thanksgiving Day.  And it's the biggest holiday shopping season for shoppers here as tons of one of the best deals are being revealed. 

For my very first year in the States, I just wanted to have an idea of a Black Friday so we went out to look around.  We happened to go to BestBuy which is one of the most crowded places for Black Friday every year.  I still remembered that moment when I was able to grab the last tub of CD R/W discs which comes with about 50 discs for just $1.99 or so.  But when we headed to the cashier to make the payment, the line was about 100m long.  That was the biggest crowd or longest line I've first ever seen in the States.  And yes, we gave up buying it as it didn't worth to wait for hours to check out. 

And after that incident, I kept a distance from Black Friday and I felt it was not my cup of tea. A few more years of Black Friday quietly passed by me. 

It was until when we pulled a trigger for our brand new house.  It was when I was thinking to load our new house with new stuff, I started to flip the coin and was getting to start falling in love with Black Friday.  We got tons of good deals during then and it was a very fruitful Black Friday. 

Since then my Black Friday shopping madness had been unfolded.  Whenever it's approaching to Black Friday, I'm always excited by monitoring and digging deals.  Every year, I got a pretty long wish list or To-buy list.  While I still couldn't beat those who tent at BestBuy a day or two before sales start in the cold winter weather so that they could grab those limited quantity door busters before they are gone, I have my own judgement so I usually head out to the place where I can handle the crowd.

I still remember that dawn when I would be hunting down the deals by myself for the first time in my whole life for that early in the morning.  He needed to stay home to take care of the girls.  It was still dark outside and I was kind of scared that I would be robbed or stopped by bad guys on the way to the shopping center.  But my determination to deals hunting and my love of shopping embraced my braveness so I went out for shopping alone anyway.

To my surprise, when I got to the shopping center, it was all bright everywhere.  And when I entered the store, all shopping carts and bags were gone.  Oh, yeah!  It was so silly of me who was so scared with own thoughts or imagination that it would be really deserted just by being myself alone or with a few other people who would be waiting in the dark outside the store to get its door opened.  I learnt that when it says the door will open at 4:00am I should be there by around 3:00am so that at least I would be able to get a shopping cart :D

Just like that, Black Friday has been giving me excitement before it comes and satisfaction after it has gone.  :P

Another remarkable Black Friday was I had gone wild shopping since the mid night.  Going in and out of one shop to another and hopping from one shopping mall to another, my shopping craze just went on and on.  By the afternoon, I became no exhausted providing that no sleep was taken for Thanksgiving night.  And it took me not only Friday evening but also the whole following Saturday to make all the sleep deprivation up.  And my long weekend was simply gone just like that.  Since then I made up my mind that I would not repeat such hysteria again.

My this year's shopping resolution is not to buy anything which I would not need no matter how good the deal is.  Plus, I don't really have much desire for Black Friday shopping craze this year.  And the good thing about this year is that most of the big retailer like Walmart, Target and BestBuy started out their sale as soon as it hit 12:00am mid night of Wednesday, which was considered to be the first minute of Thanksgiving day.  Most of the deals were available online and I managed to get almost everything I needed via online.

When I saw Black Friday shopping frenzies via the evening news of this year's Black Friday, I was so glad that I didn't even have any possibility of one of those victims.  I just feel like it's just not so worth to risk your life or pick a fight or argument with someone else just to save some $$$. 

I did Saturday and Sunday shopping and it was equally fruitful as well.  I think most of the retailers are getting smarter in the sense that they keep most of Black Friday's deals ongoing so that people who do not like to beat the crowd like me also got a chance to grab some good deals.  This way they will have a higher sales volume as well.  I called it as an equally fruitful holiday shopping as I got one Coach bag, one Michael Kors bag, one Ann Taylor sweater, some stuff from Victoria Secret's and winter clothing for girls from Macys.  And most of my holiday gifts shopping were done as well.  Most of all, I'm glad that I didn't buy any junk this year.  Bingo!

And I really like Cyber Monday as well.  Online shopping is much easier and I personally prefer it a lot.  Just need to be careful to stick with reputable sites or retailers to prevent oneself from Identity Theft.  The only downside of Cyber Monday is that most of all are back to work and I couldn't get the most out of it, LOL :P  Hmmm.... How I wish that Cyber Monday should be stipulated as one of the holidays too.  Well, that's just my wish list.  May be that's what I gonna ask from Santa this year and wish that Santa will really grant my wish.  Only if I'm a few decades younger and believe in the existence of Santa like all of those kids here though :P 

Happy Thanksgiving!!

 
Thanksgiving is right here.  Sophie's Thankful Performance at her school on the other day just popped up on my mind.  There was power point slide show of answers of the question "What are you thankful for?" of each kid.  Sophie was thankful for Daddy, mommy and Michelle for the love she received.  Kids all came up with different reasons: there got one who was thankful for sky, or for their stuffed animal, or to their little puppy, and so on. 

It suddenly makes me wonder what I'm thankful for?  I've been really busy lately and tend to get so cranky and grouchy whenever I become exhausted.  A lot of times I ended up with loads of thoughts which made me upset.  It was a different me who was overlooking appreciation.

In fact, I'm thankful to Buddha for having me as a human being in this world and also for all the blessings which I've been getting.

And I'm thankful to my late parents for their endless gratitude, sacrifices and love towards me. 

I'm thankful to my husband who plays all different roles for my life, not only as a husband, but also like a dad, like a big brother, like a teacher, like a guardian, like a supportive companion.  Simply put, I'm thankful to him for being a guiding star of my life.  Without him, I could have lost several times during those life battles I've been fighting.

I'm thankful to my two wonderful adorable angles who make me learn new things every other day as a motherhood.  It's the most challenging and toughest job at times but it's also the most wonderful and rewarding role of my life.

I'm thankful to my family.  Without you, I'll be a loner.  With all of you and your love, my life is so green and I can't ask more.  Really!

I'm thankful to my job for making me feel independent and keep my life going.

I'm thankful to my relatives for giving me a hand whatever they can.

I'm thankful to my friends for all the laughter I got from them.


I'm thankful to all those good days I got for bringing the happiness to my life.  At the same time, I'm also thankful for all those bad and challenging days I got for making a better, stronger and more experienced me :)


And such and such and such...

Most of all, I'm thankful for who I am, what I am, where I am

I'm actually truthfully thankful for every single thing I have.

And last not least, I'm really thankful for this thankful and appreciation thoughts that I suddenly got which makes me feel so good and happy.

I guess I need to repeat or must not forget these wonderful thankful thoughts which can cheer me up whenever I feel down.  They do really make me optimistic.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!   Let's not forget to be thankful and appreciate what we get and whomever deserve it!!!!

Strawberrylicious

I've been so busy during past few weeks and I could not keep up with the blogging.  There got a couple of posts including Halloween post for my little ones but I could not locate it anymore after all these days have been passed. 

Holiday is right around the corner but being so busy and tiredness makes me not in the holiday mood.  Usually I'm so ready for the holiday around this time, :P

However, Thanksgiving is in the air and a series of Thanksgiving potluck are convincing me to get to the holiday mood. 

I made my favorite Cheese Cake for one of the potlucks at work today.  Oh, joy of baking!  It was the most successful cheese cake I've ever made.  So, I want to share a couple of tips for successful cheese cake from my experience:

1) Use the water bath while baking.  It really helps with not making the cake stick to the pan.
2) Follow the exact temperature the recipe is called for.  If you want to go over, don't go over a minute or two.  It really helps. 
3) Chill it over night or at least 10 hours. Another tip for not getting the cake stick to the pan.
4) And last, my Sharper Image brand new pan really helps I think.  I was putting back and forth before I pulled the trigger for it but I'm glad that I decided to get it.  It's such a keeper.  The shiny unique non-stick coating on it really helps with not making the cake stick to the pan.  Yahoo!

All in all, it was strawberrilicious and cheesylicious I guess.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

 

Aftermath of my Cheese Cake.  It was a hit :P

Life without internet...

I dropped my digital camera during one of the past weekends and it stopped working.  The fact that it's still pretty new and also not being ready to spend $$$ for a new one, it was really disappointing and annoying.  So with desperation for a free fix, Google was the very first thing which popped up on my mind.  And guess what?  I fixed it from the free blog post of one guy who shows all possible fixes via video.  Bingo! 

We now live in the technology era and Internet virtually is an essential part of our life.  To me, Internet is my knowledge or information ocean.  There're always answers or solutions for pretty much almost all of my questions. 

Once I was with him at his workplace for lunch.  He was approached by his boss and was asked for a technical problem.  He immediately suggested him to look the resolution up via Google.  His boss immediately responded him back that he was asking him just because the internet was down and couldn't get onto Google.  And they both laughed. 

When I'm in an deserted or remote area with very poor or no reception of my phone, I feel so screwed.  I feel so concerned for what I gonna do in case I'm in need of some help or encounter some issues, etc.  When I'm moving into a new place and couldn't get an appointment for the internet setup through the provider company on the very first move-in day, it makes me really frustrated in the sense that I don't know what to do without internet. 

I sometimes wonder how I passed the first few decades of my life without internet.  It sometimes further makes me wonder how people live without internet and electronic communication medium during ancient time.  I can feel the big PAIN back then!

However, flipping the coin will give one a different perspective. Technology can be really exhausting though if it's being overused.  I recently quit facebooking as I become overwhelmed for the time I've been wasting on there and the distraction I got from it.  It could lead to information overloading if one go over limit.  If I sit before my computer during my spare time, I could keep on surfing there until my body signals and commands me to stop as it couldn't take any longer.  You see the point?

 

This is the point I'm talking about, LOL :P

Just like anything else, "Balance" is the key.  We just have to make sure not to overdo it.  Not sure I get the best out of internet or Internet gets the best out of me :P  Regardless I can't live without internet unless I decide to turn my gadgets and devices off during my vacation to prevent myself from information overloading.  Google is like my virtual H2O.  Life without internet, I simply don't know how.  Another version of it is that "Life without internet, it just sucks!!!".  What's the version of yours? :P

Oxymoron

I grew up with so well protected by my family, especially my mom, my grandma and my aunts.  There wasn't a single thing I needed to be concerned of since everything was well arranged and prepared for me.  Everywhere I went I was escorted by one of the family members.  I thought that I was well favored by most of my elementary school teachers just because my grand parents were doing so well financially and they were well known and respected by my teachers, not because I placed the first rank almost every year.

Basically, the path that I would be going was well paved ahead of me by my family.  The fact that I was never been on school excursions (because my parents had lots of concerns about  me when I was alone and out of their eyesight) and what I wore daily was decided, prepared and got ready by my mom every day until during my freshman year really made me to wish a bird who is flying freely and experience things on its own, rather than a bird in the cage.

Suddenly, things started to go the other way round.  It was when my two main guardians and escorts who were my two maternal aunts, my mom's two younger sisters, left me alone under circumstances.  My big aunt got married and my youngest aunt who dearly loved me lost her battle with lung cancer.  My mom was busy helping my dad with the business and left me alone with the decision making token for the path that I would be going.  Just like that, I made lots of decisions for my education which later would lead me to my current career.  At times, I felt helpless since I wasn't sure I was making the right decision or going to the right direction.  At times, sleepless nights during exams and stresses and exhausts at work made me feel weak.  And it made me mourn my long lost well protection and care by my family at the same time.  

Isn't it very common that we, human beings, always tend to like the opposites and contradictions?  When one had a well-paved road, she wanted to try to make her own road.  And when it came the time to  make her own road and was making one, she missed the well-paved road she once used to get.  Isn't it funny?

Likewise, we like to be a grownup when we were a kid but when one started to grow old, he or she wants to be a carefree kid again.  A lot of things we currently have, we take it granted.  Then, when we suddenly loose it, its value suddenly surfaces and we regret. 

In contrast, the more we know we can't get something we want, the higher value it is, agree?  When it's easily available to one, we take it granted.  It always appeared to me that the movie which I had watched Nth times and I didn't bother to watch it anymore really attracted me on my exam nights. :P  And there always got super long list of things to do right before my exam so that I would be more well prepared next time for next year's exam.  But guess what?  That long list vanished with the wind and evaporated as the gas once the exam was over.  :P  And the same mindset of being more prepared and more disciplined would visit me again during next year's exam.  LOL :P

Super famous celebrities wanted privacy whilst we as most of the commoners like publicity by publishing everything or posting pictures at everywhere we go on the facebook? :D 

People in the villages wonder what it takes to experience the city life while people in the city pays to experience the urban or rural lives during their vacations.

Single people want to get married whilst it pops married people's mind with the freedom of being single every once in a while.  Couples who aren't able to get kids try all possible way to conceive.  But parents with kids long to have a break every once in a while. 

People who are out of job want so badly to be back onto the career no matter what it takes whilst those with jobs usually complain how tiring and stressful their job life is.  Black people want to have a fair skin whilst white people sun tanned to get a darker skin. 

Oh well, this world is full of opposites, contrasts and idiosyncrasies.  I guess it's what makes the varieties and differences.  The word "miscellaneous" exist there for a reason.  Like colors, opposites and contrasts make us different and unique.  And guess that they are what make the world go round. The opposites attract each other and contradictions make spices of our lives, don't they?  Yeah, Oxymoron!!

Leaving Me the Angry Bird in the Legend

Okay, I'm sure that everyone of us knows that yelling is not a good thing.  Especially this plays even an important role and make a bigger point when one is trying to be a role model to her kids.  I had repeated Nth time to myself that no yelling, no screaming or no raising voice before them but it failed at times.  

Why?  I realize that it's the only exit I could find whenever I get caught myself into the ultimate exhaust, tiredness or upset.  Even if I'm in the normal mood, those little playful mischief and patience rubbers along with their misbehavior are so capable of making me to end up with mommy's meltdown moments most of the times.

Whenever I got blindfolded by my anger, I'm no longer me and all my consciousness and senses are gone momentarily.  9 out of 10 times, I was out of control and I ended up ranting.  After busting out and releasing my madness and anger, I always come back to my senses and guess what?  I'm usually loaded with full of guilt and regret.

However, what I notice though is that my guilt and regret declines for each incident.  The more such incidents I committed, the less guilt and regret I felt.  For almost everything we involve ourselves, the very first time always appear to be the biggest deal.  But it usually tends to be no such a big deal for each subsequent incident, isn't it?  Likewise, I guess that I just don't try to make much effort to rectify my mistake after repeated guilt and regrets had numbed my senses.  And it's probably because I don't get haunted by my guilt and regrets anymore after having them multiple times.

I came across this article on Yahoo! which mentioned about the danger of yelling at your kids.  This really made me review myself and I feel so horrible how I become getting comfortable with it over time and not reinforcing myself to stay on track with my vow.  Especially when I learnt that how yelling and screaming at those little innocent ones could have created such a big impact on their life and more importantly, an unintentional wound or scar could have left on their mind.

Oh, NO!  I'm one such angry bird.  I suddenly feel like I'm a horrible mom and I feel so embarrassed for my behavior at the same time.  I realize that I'm seriously in need of reprimand to not repeat those again.  All I need is my anger management.  I know that it's not going to happen overnight as it takes time to rectify one's personality.  It's not easy to stick with it but I must not give up.  My determination is my first step.  I hereby make a vow to myself that NO YELLING, NO SCREAMING and NO RAISING VOICE to my little ones NO MATTER WHAT.  I'll live up to my mojo!  I can do it! I can do it!! :D